Some Reflections

Symbols.

They matter because they represent something to us. But for them to have meaning, there needs to be a group of people who share a similar “language” helping understand how to interpret these symbols. Whether it is an object (a belt of purple color in this case), a ritual, or a sign of some sort, they are a part of our vernacular, helping to make sense of things, persons, and situations.

The object — the Brazilian jiu-jitsu purple belt. The language is that of the worldwide community of BJJ practitioners, grapplers, MMA athletes, and fans who understand the significance and meaning of different belts in one’s martial arts journey.

Symbols also tell a story.

In this case, the story of a 45-year-old, who has spent the last four years plus borderline obsessed with Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Of countless hours of practice, drilling, sparring, injuries, competitions, watching instructionals, and more practice still. Of dragging my two sons and many others to try BJJ, hoping they would find in this art the precious things it has given me — in addition to the obvious physical benefits, a mindset, and habits that help deal with everyday stress, a great community of like-minded individuals from different parts of the world and walks of life, and an extraordinarily tricky martial art that is fun to learn.

So I got the purple belt about a month ago. It was a strange mix of feelings.

At first, a deep sense of pride. I did it.

When I started jiu-jitsu, I hoped to get to a blue belt level. That was the maximum I hoped to achieve. At the time, the purple belt seemed so far out of reach. As I have heard different black belts say, not more than 10–15% of the jiu-jitsu practitioners get to a blue belt level. If you do, bravo. But sadly, most people quit after getting a blue belt.

Only about 3% of the practitioners reach the purple belt. However, once you reach the purple belt, the chances of reaching the black belt become significantly higher. At the purple belt level, you have crossed the survival stage of the white belt, and you did not quit as the blue belt. It is at the purple belt level that everyone around you recognizes that you are in this for real. That’s what it is.

The purple belt signifies consistent commitment.

With pride, however, come all kinds of thoughts and feelings, sometimes contradictory.

• Gratitude. To have found Brazilian jiu-jitsu. To have decided to put in the work. Towards my coach and everyone else who helped me learn and get better. To everyone else in my life, who is patient and understanding enough to let me spend this much time and effort in what may seem like a strange way for a forty-something-year-old to spend his free time.

• Confidence. In my skills, putting in the work. In my ability to learn and improve. In my technique, my game, my ability to defend myself and defeat others.

• Doubt. Am I really at the purple belt level? Can I successfully match up with other purple belts? Do I know enough? Doubts are part of life. In this case, the way I deal with the doubts is that I remind myself that I am at the beginning of my time as the purple belt — so a couple of years down the line is when I will be a much better purple belt. So no rush, no freaking out. One step, one training session, one sparring match at a time.

• Relaxation. I don’t have to prove much anymore. Not that I don’t think I need to improve, of course I do. But I can do that without putting any pressure on myself. Relaxed learning. I can care less now who taps me out, how many times. There is relaxed strength that comes with the rank, I feel. I know my worth, and what I am capable of. I won’t give easy wins to anyone, that’s not gonna happen. But I am now more comfortable with losing without having my ego bruised. Losing and learning.

• Focus. At the same time, as my knowledge of BJJ expands, I am becoming more and more focused on what I want to learn. It is hard to make sense of all of it as a white belt. Even as a blue belt you try different things and many things just don’t stick. The problem is at junior levels I did not understand the game well enough to learn the concepts and techniques efficiently, to add them to my game. As a purple belt, it feels different — there are very few things I cannot understand and physically do at this stage. So learning becomes very different.

• Responsibility. To my teammates, to anyone I spar with. To keep them safe, to help them grow and get better. But also to improve as their partner — the better I get, the better I can help them become.

• Joy. Of just practicing something I love. Having fun. Exchanging jokes with my teammates. Trash talking in the most desperate situations. Giving and receiving positivity.

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So where to now? What is next?

The easiest answer to that is — keep training. Keep moving forward. If there is one thing BJJ has taught me so far, it is the importance of small steps. Incremental improvements. Kaizen. Atomic Habits. Call it what you will, but anything of value is achieved through continuous work to improve over time.

Still, I know I won’t just be satisfied with vague guidance. :) I like to make specific plans. So here are some thoughts:

• Don’t forget Defence/Escapes. Periodically revisit and dedicate specific sparring sessions to fundamentals of defense and escapes.

• Elevate my guard game. Open Guard, including butterfly, X-guard, single leg X, half guard, half butterfly, reverse de la Riva. Improve the transitions, sweeps, wrestle ups and submissions from all.

• Polish my favorite submissions. Leglocks and strangles (including triangles). I never fancied armlocks much. But guillotines, d’Arces, rear-naked choke, and all kinds of leglocks — that I love. I need to add/improve set-ups and finishing. One important thing, I think, is understanding the transitions — between different kinds of headlocks for example. Or between different leg entanglement positions — irimi ashi-garami, cross-ashi, 50/50 and others.

• Streamline my top game. From stand-up (snap downs, double leg takedowns), to guard passing (pressure passing), to top control in side control (including my beloved Kesa Gatame) and mount. Get it to the level where opponents feel claustrophobic.

I don’t feel I need to learn a whole lot of new techniques necessarily. I think the focus needs to be on improving the execution of high percentage techniques I am already using. It is all about learning and applying the nuances at this point. That said, this old fox can certainly learn some new tricks too. :)

I have mentally prepared myself for plateaus. I have previously dealt with plateaus when learning languages, piano, and chess. Plateaus are not fun. But plateaus are also manageable. With perseverance and changing things up just a little bit, you get through them and typically end up better and stronger at the other end.

I should also prepare myself for how my sparring sessions might change. As a purple belt, you are in a place where every sparring session with blue belts has a different significance. Also, every white belt will feel more comfortable experimenting because they will feel more confident that I can protect them and myself. :) Every brown and black belt roll will get harder since they won’t feel the need to hold back. This might take some adjustment — symbols change attitudes, even if logically speaking, I have not changed much within the last month.

So practice and have fun. And learn, learn, learn.

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A week ago, on my trip to Baku, Azerbaijan, I had my ass kicked by a purple belt who is 10 kg lighter than me. :) Yes, yes, he was younger. Much younger. But it was the skill level on display that was more impressive. I was not disheartened after such an experience and if anything, it made me even more eager to learn. There is so much to learn…